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I’ve been watching my siblings lately. (More than usual) and I’ve been wondering why on earth am I the oldest? The oldest is supposed to be the example right? The leader. If you saw all 4 of us together you would not peg me as the leader. My siblings are so much stronger than me in pretty much every aspect. So why me? I struggle in a TON of areas. Then it hit me. I’m the oldest because I love them. I love them so much that I won’t allow myself to step out of line out of fear that they might follow. This keeps me in check. This is what has motivated me to do the right thing time and time again. I don’t want them to struggle, get hurt or go on the wrong path. I know they watch me so I try not to let myself stray. This doesn’t mean that I don’t do anything wrong, because I do, I screw up all the time. And I still think anyone of them would be better suited to be the “leader” but in all honesty I’m extremely grateful for the pressure of being the oldest because it continually motivates me to do the right thing.